Part 1: Allyship vs. Advocacy — How to Tell the Difference and Why It Matters
“What good is a seat at the table if no one passes you the mic?”
Welcome to our newest Leading Ladies series! Be prepared to dig beneath the surface of diversity headlines to ask hard questions—and get real strategies for change.
We’ve all seen the statements.
The black squares.
The “We stand with you” emails.
But what happens when the hashtags fade? What happens when the headlines move on? Too many Black women leaders are left holding the weight of progress—alone.
They’re still:
- Overlooked for high-level promotions
- Underpaid despite being overqualified
- Expected to lead diversity efforts—with no budget, no team, and no title
This series is not about blame.
It’s about better.
And it starts by asking one bold question:
Is your support performative—or powerful?
The Problem With Performative Allyship
Performative allyship is easy to recognize once you’ve lived through it.
It sounds like:
- “We value diverse voices”—but only when it’s trending.
- “You’re so resilient!”—but no one offers relief.
- “We want your feedback”—but leadership ignores it.
It looks like celebration in February and silence in March.
It shows up in DEI panels where the only Black woman is unpaid—and overprepared.
Performative allyship feels like support, but it functions as a stall tactic.
It burns out Black women while preserving power structures.
Allyship vs. Advocacy: Know the Difference
Many organizations confuse allyship with advocacy.
Here’s the truth: Allyship is the minimum. Advocacy is the movement.
Allyship:
- Shares inspiring DEI quotes online
- Attends unconscious bias training
- Offers sympathy in private
Advocacy:
- Publicly recommends a Black woman for a C-suite role
- Redirects stretch assignments to overlooked talent
- Challenges biased systems—even when it’s unpopular
The key difference?
Allies stand with you. Advocates move power to you.
Real Talk From the Research: What Support Actually Looks Like
In my dissertation study on Black women executives, garnering support emerged as a top theme in their leadership success. Every participant described the difference it made when someone truly advocated for them.
One powerful quote captured this:
“Looking beyond the limitations to see the reward on the other side was necessary. But support from others was life-changing.”
Support came in many forms:
- A mentor’s affirmation during a moment of doubt
- A sponsor using their influence to open doors
- A peer offering honest feedback behind closed doors
- A boss who didn’t just listen—but lobbied
All five participants identified sponsorship as the most critical type of support—more impactful than mentorship alone.
The Quiet Pain of Being Unsupported
But what about when support is missing?
Each leader had to confront this painful question:
“What happens when no one is willing to invest in me?”
Here’s what they did:
They invested in themselves.
This self-investment looked like:
- Speaking up about biased processes
- Calling out double standards
- Positioning their value even when others were silent
This approach—deeply rooted in Black feminist thought—was not about defiance for its own sake. It was about self-preservation, self-definition, and self-advocacy.
Still, imagine what could’ve happened if someone with power had used it on their behalf.
3 Red Flags of Performative Allyship
Let’s call it what it is.
Here are three warning signs that you’re getting surface-level support:
1. The Spotlight Without the Support
You’re the face of the campaign.
But when budgets are cut, your project is first to go.
2. The Diversity Double Standard
You’re asked to “represent all Black women.”
But when you set boundaries, you’re “not a team player.”
3. The Invisible Labor
You’re asked to “fix” inclusion—without pay, title, or team.
Your emotional intelligence becomes a liability.
If any of these hit home, you’re not imagining it.
You deserve more than symbolism. You deserve structure.
What Does Advocacy Actually Look Like?
Let’s make this practical.
If You’re a Black Woman Leader:
1. Name What You Need
Don’t let praise become a substitute for promotion.
Instead of “Thank you for your strength,” say:
“What I need is support to be considered for the SVP role.”
2. Redirect the Labor
You are not the DEI committee.
Say:
“Happy to consult. But I recommend someone else lead this.”
3. Document Contributions
Keep receipts.
Track the mentorship you offer, the ideas you initiate, the culture you shape.
Use this data in your performance reviews and salary negotiations.
If You’re a Genuine Advocate:
1. Sponsor, Don’t Just Mentor
Mentors talk. Sponsors act.
Push her name in rooms she’s not in.
2. Yield Your Platform
In meetings, say:
“Before I respond, I want to hear [Black colleague]’s take.”
3. Question Quiet Bias
Speak up when “culture fit” becomes code for exclusion.
Ask:
“Are we confusing comfort with qualification?”
Allyship That Transforms: A Case from the Field
One participant in the study shared how a Black male leader became her strongest advocate.
This stood out because Black women often face resistance from male colleagues—even those of the same race.
His support wasn’t just verbal. It was strategic.
He reminded her she belonged.
He made her feel safe to lead authentically.
This is what influence looks like in action.
It’s a reminder that advocacy isn’t just a white issue.
It’s a leadership issue.
The Business Case for Black Women’s Leadership
This isn’t just a moral imperative. It’s smart business.
Data shows:
- Companies with diverse leadership are 45% more likely to grow market share
- Black women-led teams innovate faster and more effectively
- Yet only 4% of C-suite roles are held by Black women
This isn’t about charity.
It’s about competitive advantage.
Your Monday Power Moves
Let’s take this from theory to action.
1. Assess Your Circle
List 3 people in your professional network.
Ask: Who advocates for me when I’m not in the room?
2. Ask for One Bold Thing This Week
Whether it’s a stretch project or board recommendation—ask someone to go beyond cheerleading.
3. Bookmark This Post
On Friday, we’ll dig into Part 2: The Equity Audit—How to Measure Real Progress in Your Workplace
Final Thoughts: Change Starts with Power
The truth is simple:
Black women shouldn’t have to beg for equity.
But while systems evolve, we must master how to:
- Name our needs
- Claim our value
- Train others how to support us well
One of the most powerful quotes from my research came from a mentor who told her mentee:
“Leadership is not a position of authority—it’s a place of influence.”
Let’s use that influence to change systems, not just stories.
Here’s to turning applause into action.
Because performative support is easy.
Power-sharing is revolutionary.
Suggested Reading
From Representation to Power: Moving Beyond a Seat at the Table
Navigating Leadership as the Only Woman of Color in the Room
Join the Conversation
Head over to our Facebook Page–The Leading Lady Collective. Join the conversation and tag your true advocates. Let us know who’s actually moved the needle for you and invite them to join the conversation as well!
And don’t forget—Part 2 drops on Friday.